


The Missing Picture

by BombasticLove



Category: Carol (2015), The Price of Salt - Patricia Highsmith
Genre: Angst, Canon Lesbian Relationship, F/F, Lesbian Sex, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-24
Updated: 2018-05-06
Packaged: 2019-04-27 04:38:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 17,781
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14417853
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BombasticLove/pseuds/BombasticLove
Summary: Carol through Therese's lens. Road Trip.Completed.





	1. At The Start

**Author's Note:**

> A small look into what might have happened between Carol and Therese which resulted in Carol's stunning road trip portraits. This is a small series of one-shots. There will be no additions after chapter 10, but I hope you all enjoy it!

* * *

One

* * *

 

 

They’d stopped to add fuel to the car and Therese took the opportunity to run into the small convenience store to pick up a few more snacks. Two bottles of pop, a small bag of dried tropical fruit and a couple of apples. Being in the car made her feel one of two ways: hungry or sleepy. She wasn’t used to spending a lot of time in cars. Being from New York, everything was within walking distance, or at most, a few minutes away by means of public transportation. She never understood the appeal of long winding roads or listening to the radio until something familiar popped up. That had all changed in the last twenty four hours.  
  
She found herself slipping in and out of sleep while Carol navigated often in complete silence. She wondered how’d she’d do being trapped in a small space with a woman she was almost afraid of. She didn’t know what she’d say or what she’d ask and felt the responsibility of filling the silence with meaningful chatter. What she had not anticipated, however, was falling asleep an hour into the drive due the humming of the engine and the first sight of those long country roads she couldn’t believe where this close to her beloved city.  
  
She popped back into the car, purchases in hand, and looked at Carol who was intently studying a map. Her hair was covering the top part of her profile, only her mouth was visible to Therese. As if she didn’t notice Therese had come back into the car, she continued studying the map, running the tip of her tongue over her upper lip as she planned the route.  
  
Therese reached over to the back seat where she had laid down her purse earlier in the day. She took her camera and only after she started adjusting the settings did Carol look up from her map. Her hair looked disheveled, as if thinking of where to go next was draining to her, but she knew it was from the constant contact it had with her finger tips. She simply couldn’t leave her hair alone and Therese was unsure if this was a nervous habit she had from before or something new thought up only to entice her.  
  
“What are you doing?” she heard Carol say, as she rested her elbow on the top of the car seat and her head in her hand.  
  
“Nothing.” answered Therese, as she moved her camera close to her face and found Carol’s in the view finder. _Click_.  
  
Carol smiled and adjusted her coat, covering up her shoulders and forgetting that just a second ago she had found it suffocating. _Click_.  
  
“Aren’t you hot in that?” Therese said, “I know it’s December but it feels unseasonably warm.” She put her camera down for just a second and held one of the apples in front of Carol, smiling as if she had discovered something new. “This will be refreshing!” she said, and bit into the apple before turning off the camera with her free hand and setting it on her side.  
  
“I brought you one too” Therese said, her mouth still partially full from the big bite she had taken, and held the second apple in her free hand.  
  
Carol was once again facing forward, coat off her shoulders but still draped on the seat behind her. She didn’t look at Therese as she offered the apple, but instead turned the keys in the ignition, gave a quick look in the mirror, and proceeded forward onto the road ahead.  
  
“I don’t want an apple.” she said coldly, her eyes firm on the road.  
  
“Oh,” whispered Therese, defeat in her voice and a slight confusion in her brow. _Had she done something to upset her? Maybe taking her picture had made her self conscious, maybe she should ask permission next time._  
  
“But I will take a bite of yours.” Carol said, interrupting Therese’s frantic thought process.  
  
She felt her stomach drop and her arms grow heavy as she stretched one out to hand Carol her half bitten apple.  
  
“Hands on the wheel.” Carol playfully admonished, as she opened her mouth slightly and partially leaned in to the fruit, waiting for Therese to bring it up to meet her mouth. Therese looked intently at the blonde as her hair fell over her face and covered her eyes and her mouth bit down on the same spot she had been previously working on, letting out the softest moan in delight. She felt a drop of the fruit’s juice on her palm as she pulled away and watched Carol chew softly.  
  
“You’re right,” she said, as soon as she was finished chewing “that is refreshing.”  
  
Therese leaned in to lick the drop off of her palm and took another bite of her apple, leaned back on her seat, hiding her smile from Carol, and stared out the window at the passing trees. _It wouldn’t be long now until she was asleep again_ , she thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The picture:
> 
> https://i.imgur.com/yeayWf0.png


	2. The Picnic

* * *

Two

* * *

 

They had stopped at a small rest stop, somewhere still in Pennsylvania, though Carol would not tell Therese exactly where. Her hair was freshly styled and, as she ran her fingers through it, she smiled at the thought of telling Therese she would be “just a minute” before shutting the door to the steamy bathroom and spending the next two hours getting ready for the drive. She hated to make the young woman wait, but she couldn’t very well drive around town with a messy head of hair. She remembered watching Therese lay down on her bed, next to all her things, reading a book. She started at the beginning, but she quickly grew impatient, or maybe just curious, and flipped to the end of the book to read the last few pages. She remembered and it made her smile. It made her fumble through the picnic basket looking for something she wasn’t sure she’d find when she heard a sudden _Click_.  
  
Therese was sitting next to her, legs crossed underneath her, her full skirt covering both her knees, camera in hand. Carol’s cheeks were instantly flushed as she saw Therese take yet another picture of her.  
  
“Will you stop that?” she said playfully, looking back down at the picnic basket trying to see what was inside.  
  
“Why?” asked Therese dryly, camera still in hand, ready for another shot.  
  
“Look around you,” Carol started, avoiding eye contact with Therese, “there are a million beautiful things to take pictures of.”  
  
“That’s true.” said Therese, pursing her lips and nodding as she watched Carols hands digging aimlessly through the picnic basket. “Do you need a hand?” She offered, “You’ve been searching through that for a while and I can’t tell what you’re looking for.”  Carol leaned back, closed one of the flaps of the basket, and took a deep breath followed by a long sigh.  
  
“You and that camera made me distracted” she said playfully, “I forget what I’m doing when I see you with it.”  
  
“Do you not like having your picture taken?” Therese asked, curious what the answer would be, but unsure if she would let it sway her in any particular way.  
  
“I don’t have my picture taken.” Carol answered matter-of-factly.  
  
“Ever?” asked Therese, lifting her brows, not believing the statement.  
  
“Well, I had my picture taken in school, and with my family...” she paused for a moment and looked down at her hands, “and Harge, of course, but that’s it.”  
  
“That can’t be it.” said Therese, incredulous of the fact that this perfect woman did not seize every opportunity to have her beauty immortalized in pictures.  
  
She’d come to imagine Carol as somewhat of a muse. An elusive creature who only truly came alive when looked at through the lens of a camera. She imagined her past lovers commissioning paintings of her for their offices and small prints for their desks and wallets. She imagined her picture hanging in a thousand homes, full of history and allure. She was deep in thought when she heard Carol ask “Do you always read the end of books before you finish them?”  
  
She had taken two sandwiches and two napkins out of the picnic basket and placed one on her lap and another in front of the girl. Therese set down her camera and reached for the sandwich, unwrapped it quickly and took a big bite. She wasn’t sure she wanted to answer Carol, and spent the next few seconds chewing, contemplating what she should say.  
  
“I like to take your picture.” she said finally, ignoring the question completely. She saw Carol’s eyes darkening and her lids becoming heavy before she quickly pulled her sunglasses from her purse and slipped them on.  
  
“What a strange girl you are, indeed.” Carol said, looking away, as if the disguise of her dark glasses was somehow not enough.  
  
Therese took a pause, then started “I like to know how things will end, so that I know whether or not I’ll enjoy the story.” She set her sandwich down and picked her camera back up. “I admit I’m a fool for happy endings” she continued, reaching across the way so that her hand was an inch away from Carol’s face and slipped the glasses softly off, untucking some of the blonde locks from behind her ears. _Click_. “I’ll leave something unfinished if I know it will end in tragedy” she went on, trying to find Carol’s eyes.  
  
Carol finally looked up to see Therese’s face half hidden behind her camera. She hung her head and let her hair fall over it as she searched for her glasses which where now on the floor. _Click_.  
  
Once she’d found them she kept them in her hand for a second, then asked “So you don’t like surprises?” and finally locked eyes with Therese.  
  
“No.” _Click_.  
  
“I don’t like them either.” she admitted. “And if I had known you’d use that thing with me I would have thought long and hard about buying it.” she said jokingly, breaking some of the tension.  
  
Therese let out a light giggle, surprised by the sudden change in mood, but welcoming it all the same. She softly got up to her knees and moved over to where Carol was, sitting next to her so that they were side by side. “Come here”, said Therese, as she leaned back and placed her weight on her right hand, which was planted on the floor right behind Carol, her thumb touching the fabric which wrapped her perfect buttocks. She moved her head so that it rested lightly over Carols shoulder and held the camera up, pointing it at them. “Now smile,” she commanded and awkwardly pressed the shutter button with her left index finger. They both erupted in laughter as Therese fell back on the picnic blanket and covered her eyes in mild embarrassment.  
  
“Now, I’m not photographer” Carol stated still laughing, “but there’s a very big possibility that will turn out badly.”  
  
“Well, I am a photographer,” answered Therese playfully but confidently, “and I say: Not a chance.”  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The picture:
> 
> https://i.imgur.com/rOkWAoS.png


	3. The McKinley

* * *

Three

* * *

 

They sat on the floor of the McKinley Presidential suite drinking a tumbler of scotch as they digested their delicious dinners. For the first time that day they’d had time to sit down, not in the car, but in a restaurant full of people and enjoy the unhurried comfort of being away from everything and everyone they knew and simply enjoying each other’s company.  
  
Carol thought back on the day, on all the miles they’d traveled and how, although it was late, she felt strangely energized. She reached for the smallest of her suit cases and pulled out a large mirror and tube of coral lipstick, dabbed a bit on her lips and smudged it around with her finger, wanting to preserve on her face a little of the energy she felt in her heart.  
  
“Can I try it?” asked Therese, her voice soft and sheepish.  
  
“I thought you didn’t wear makeup.” stated Carol, unaware of how harsh her tone sometimes seemed.  
  
“It’s not that I don’t like it,” confessed Therese, “it’s just that I don’t know where to start…”  
  
“Let’s start with some music.” Carol’s tone lightened, “Ah, I’ve got just the thing.” Without getting up she reached behind her suitcase and grabbed the blue record Therese had given her just the day before. “Would you, please?” she said to Therese, handing her the record so that the brunette would put it on the record player. Therese picked up the record and softly, on all fours, made her way to the record player, fussing with it a little before getting the record to start.  
  
Carol felt a hint of guilt watching Therese as she crawled away, still unsure of what she was doing, of what she expected to get out of this trip. _Nothing_ , she said to herself. _A sweet kindred spirit, she is. A young kindred spirit._ She was still swirling her drink in her glass when Therese appeared in front of her, sitting closer than before, all her weight resting on her calves and her hands neatly tucked on her lap. _You’re beautiful_ , Carol thought, fighting the urge to caress Therese’s cheek with the back of her finger.  
  
“First a little powder to cover up some of the imperfe…” she let out a soft throaty laugh as she shook her head, “who are we kidding, you have no imperfections.” she said and playfully pressed an oversized puff on the young woman’s nose. She then pressed it lightly on each cheek, her forehead and her chin, following along with her hand to smooth over the delicate product. Therese closed her eyes and smiled involuntarily each time Carol’s soft fingers touched her face. They’d open back up with a light flutter and Carol felt as if her heart were melting from the sweet innocence of Therese’s gaze. “Now, a bit of shadow. Close your eyes… and don’t blink” she instructed, and dipped one of her ring fingers into a small golden brown pot in one of her elegant palettes. She leaned in closer, too close to keep her thoughts straight, and gently applied the product over the young woman’s lids. Afraid she’d somehow hurt her, she held her breath almost the entire time, indulging in the sensation of Therese’s warm breath against the palm of her hand. How she wanted to stop, to gently part Therese’s lips with her fingers and touch her delicate wet tongue. “There.” she said, stopping her fantasy to admire her work.  
  
“I need lipstick.” Therese said as she moved closer to Carol, opening her mouth slightly, inviting Carol to put it on her. Carol laughed as she applied a single swipe of the dark shade and watched Therese smudge it against her lips, making little sounds with her mouth as she did.  
  
The record had ended and brought them both back and out of their mutual state of entrancement and Carol quickly and decisively instructed Therese to play it “Again.” This time she did not shy away from indulging in the beautiful curves on display as Therese made her way over to the record player, still on all fours. The heat of the alcohol and their tender intimacy emboldening her more.  
  
“Take a look at yourself.” she said to Therese handing her the mirror once she was fully settled on the floor again. Therese took one look at herself and couldn’t help but laugh, eliciting a sincere chuckle from Carol as she did. “Beautiful.” Carol said, smiling.  
  
“Okay, next.” said Therese, unable to linger on the compliment.  
  
“Would mademoiselle be so kind as to apply to her pulse points only.” said Carol, handing her a small bottle of perfume. It was the perfume Harge had picked out for her, and while she was ready to get rid of the scent entirely, she couldn’t help but think back to that day at Scotty’s when Therese first noticed it. She watched the young woman apply it on her wrists and behind her ears, and Carol couldn’t help but stretch out her hand and ask for a few droplets for herself, enticed by the thought of smelling like Therese. If she couldn’t leave her scent on her any other way, this would have to do.  
  
Carol smelled the perfume on her wrist before applying it directly to her neck, sighing “Oh, that’s divine…” and almost as second nature, as she had invited Harge to do those first few years of their marriage, she said to Therese “smell that” as she leaned in and waited for the young woman to get close. Carol felt Therese press her nose against her neck, coming much closer than she had anticipated, and lingering, taking in the scent and leaving a long warm breath on her neck. As she pulled back, she could sense Therese’s self awareness, and as to not make the moment more tense, Carol quickly picked up her glass from the table and toasted President McKinley, making Therese erupt into a small fit of giggles, alcohol lightly pouring out of her stained lips.  
  
Thought she tried to stop it with her hand, Carol noticed a drop on her chin and slowly brought her finger up to wipe it off. Therese sat still for a moment, as Carol’s stare was fixed on her lips and whispered “stay right there.”  
  
She quickly got up and walked towards the bed, opening up her large brown bag and pulling something out of it.  
  
_That damned camera again_ , Carol thought. It seemed like every time she turned around it was pointed directly at her. She’d never been fond of taking pictures and found the entire ritual too intimate for her liking. Intimacy is not something she desired with most people, but in this case... there was something strangely alluring about Therese’s constant need to photograph her. She’d taken a series of pictures of her in the car and a few more outside while having lunch the day before, but nothing yet had made her get used to being constantly stared at by this puzzling creature.  
  
Carol heard Therese fidget around with her settings and settled on a new pose for herself. Instead of facing the door, she was now facing the beds. Two small twin beds, as if there could be anything sadder. She imagined herself on one of those beds with Harge, his large body crushing her as he slept. How many nights she had laid awake under the weight of his arm, carelessly flung across her chest. Never gently draped over her navel, or sensually resting on her ass. He was always on his back, taking most of the space, leaving Carol a small corner of the bed for herself. And on those days when he was awake, he’d pull her in and settle her on top of him, grunting at her gentle grinding, before taking control and urging her on until he was done. She ran her fingers through her hair and remembered all those nights in the darkness of their bedroom, their soft cool sheets her only source of comfort as she lay there, pinned down by the weight of his body, her legs moist with his essence.  
  
_Click_.  
  
“What are you thinking of?” Therese asked, taking Carol’s favorite question away from her.  
  
“Oh, nothing.” lied Carol, as she took another sip of her scotch. _Click_.  
  
“I’ve been thinking,” started Therese as if she were talking to herself, “your lips curved down a little, just a little, so it makes it hard to know if you’re sad.”  
  
“Why would I be sad?” Carol asked, realizing only after she’d asked the question that it was much to late to be having this conversation.  
  
“I don’t know. You miss home?”  
  
“I miss Rindy,” Carol said sincerely, “Everything else worth miss I brought with me.” _Click_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The picture:
> 
> https://i.imgur.com/XFQBkmG.png


	4. First Kiss

* * *

Four

* * *

 

 

It had been a quiet morning as they drove to Chicago. Therese fell in and out of sleep as she listened to the songs playing on the radio, one after another, with a little chatter in between. At one point she was sitting back against the car door, legs lifted onto the seat, her bare feet nearly touching Carol’s thigh. She thought about the morning, and how she had sensed a hint of jealousy from Carol when she saw her talking to Tommy. _Could it be possible,_ she thought, _that she made Carol jealous by simply talking to another person, to a man?_  
  
She remembered Richard’s reaction when anyone took an interest in Therese. It wasn’t so much jealousy as a slight amusement, as if inwardly chuckling at anyone else finding this young girl, quiet girl, plain girl, attractive or interesting or worth their time. Until she met Carol. She found his defensiveness towards Carol off putting, and if that’s what jealousy looked like and felt like she never wanted to make Carol feel that way.   
  
“He helped me with my ice bucket last night.” confessed Therese to Carol, who looked lost in her own thoughts. “Hm?” she sighed.  
  
“Tommy, from this morning. He helped me with my ice bucket last night. His glasses were all fogged over from the cold. It was funny.”  
  
“What a charming way to meet someone, having them come to your rescue. Maybe we’ll see him again in Chicago.” said Carol, a cold and defiant undertone in her soft voice.  
  
“I hope not.” said Therese, making Carol smile.   
  
“He reminds me of a boy I grew up with. I’d imagine he would have turned out to look a little something like Tommy. He had the same glasses, but his hair was curly and unruly. It drove me mad.” continued Therese.  
  
“Did you like this boy?” asked Carol, now invested in the conversation, ready to devour another page from this young girl’s previous life.   
  
“No. He drove me _crazy_. And…” she stopped herself for a moment and adjusted her skirt, ensuring it was still covering all of her as she re positioned her legs on the seat.   
  
“And?”  
  
“He stole my first kiss.” admitted Therese.   
  
“So he was a thief” said Carol playfully. “Did you contact the authorities?”   
  
“No” she admitted shyly, “I gave him a swift punch in the gut instead.”  
  
Carol let out a hearty laugh and looked over at Therese, who was sitting facing her, arms crossed over her chest, a slight pout on her lips as she remembered the story.   
  
“And here I thought I couldn’t like you any better,” admitted Carol playfully, an air of sincerity in her voice.   
  
“What was your first kiss like?” asked Therese avoiding looking at her face and instead flinging herself over the seat of the car to pick up her brown bag full of snacks and camera equipment.   
  
“Who remembers?” answered Carol softly as Therese settled back down next to her, one of her feet now gently resting against Carol's thigh. She instinctively lowered her hand to caress the soft fabric of her stockings before remembering herself and pulling away, brushing her hair back and out of her face and adjusting her sunglasses to rest on her head though the sun was still shining bright.   
  
Therese looked intently as small wrinkles started to form around Carol’s eyes, her lips curling into a smile as she said: “I can tell you about the first one I _really_ remember”, she looked over at Therese whose own eyes were now wide and deep, like a pool inviting Carol to dive in completely.   
  
“Okay.” said Therese, trying to hide her growing interest.   
  
“I was sixteen,” Carol started, “and I was staying at a friend’s house for the weekend. We had spent the first couple of days planning a big dinner party, fancying ourselves old enough to host it. We planned menus, seating arrangements, even instructed her parents to leave all of the cooking and cleaning up to us,” she continued, smiling coyly as she recounted the memory. “When the day of the party came, I noticed one of our mutual friends staring at me from across the table. Paying them no mind I continued with the evening, talking about school and what exactly we were expected to write for our sophomore English essay.” She started to take off her gloves, as if suddenly overheated from the memory. “Anyway, when the night was nearly over, and I was cleaning up, we ended up alone in the kitchen. Next thing I knew…” she bit down on her glove and mumbled something Therese couldn’t quite make out, “…lips against mine and that was that.” she said softly, almost inaudibly against the loud humming of the engine.   
  
“Why do you remember that one?” Therese asked, blinking rapidly, confused as to why the story had ended so abruptly. Carol made no answer, but instead adjusted the rear view mirror and pulled into a small patch of dirt on the side of the road. She turned to Therese without even turning off the engine and placed one of her hands on the brunette’s feet, lowering her sunglasses over her face with the other, but leaving them down far enough so that her gaze was still locked with Therese’s. “Because, my dear,” she cooed, “some things, however small and insignificant they may seem, tell you more about yourself than a hundred psychology books.”   
  
Therese quickly brought her camera up to her face, hypnotized by the look in Carol’s eyes as she moved her hand away from her foot and brought it up to rest near her softly parted lips. Through the viewfinder she saw Carol’s simple wedding band, taunting her with the memory of Harge’s hands on her, pushing her to leave with him only a few nights before. Her eyes, however, burned into the small mirror found within the camera and Therese thought it might explode from her searing gaze. _Click_. “You’re very beautiful.” Therese whispered softly as she took another picture. _Click_.   
  
Carol broke away from their intimate gaze and flung her car door open, stepping out effortlessly and slipping her mink coat off her shoulders. She tossed it in the back seat along with her gloves and the scarf she had wrapped around her neck. When she got back into the front seat Therese was looking out the window at the empty lot to her right. She felt Carol find her spot in front of the wheel and then quickly leaned in to her to whisper in her ear, an unnecessary but thrilling adventure. “Would you teach me how to drive?” she asked, and without moving her head at all, she waited for Carol to meet her eyes, hoping their noses might touch as she did so. “ _Yes._ ” said Carol softly, a sly smile painted on her lips as Therese’s eyes curled in reciprocation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The picture: 
> 
> https://i.imgur.com/6Bu4Hx6.jpg


	5. Driving Lessons

* * *

Five

* * *

 

 

“I need music to drive” said Therese decisively as she found her comfort in the driver’s seat and in front of a wheel.  
  
“How do you know you need music to drive if you’ve never driven before?” joked Carol from outside the car. “Don’t do anything yet” she instructed as she went along the back of the car, opened the passenger door, and slid into the seat next to Therese.  
  
“Now this here is the ignition key,” she started, “you turn it and it makes the car turn on.”  
  
“Yes, Mrs. Aird” said Therese in a mocking tone, seemingly amused by the stern tone in Carol’s voice as their lessons began.  
  
“You pay attention now, I don’t want you going off and getting us killed,” she said. Carol pointed out the break and the accelerator and lectured Therese on the importance of keeping her eyes on the road, her hands on the wheel, and her foot lightly over the gas pedal.  
  
“I need music.” Therese said again, turning the key and leaning into the radio to find a station in what appeared to be an ocean of static. “Let me do that,” said Carol as she brushed Therese hand away from the keys, “You focus on the road.”  
  
“We haven’t even left yet,” Therese laughed as she adjusted her position, released the hand break, and pulling into the road at turtle speed. Carol searched the air waves until she heard the familiar _I waaaaaaant you baby, and I want you to be my giiiiiiiiirl._  
  
Therese jumped in her seat when she recognized the song and it sent the car into a small jolt Carol was not prepared for. She fell forward a little and shot a mean glare to Therese, whose hair had become ruffled by the sharp and unexpected movement. Her angry glare melted as Carol couldn’t help but notice how happy she looked, smiling bright while biting down on her lower lip as she shook her head from side to side and kept the car at a steady 15MPH.  
  
“Come on, baby, will you treat me nice? Please don’t put my love on ice!” shouted Therese as she sang along with the song, the fast and lively beat in direct contrast with their slow pace. Carol stared at her, bewitched by her innocent delight, when she heard Therese say “There’s a car coming really fast behind me, Carol.”  
  
“Pull over then, let them pass.”  
  
Therese followed orders and pulled over to the side of the road, bringing the car to a startling halt as she lifted the hand break before even setting her foot on the pedal. Once again they both jerked forward as they saw the car pass them by and Therese erupted into a fit of giggles, leaned into the steering wheel, and tried to catch her breath. “I looooooove you baby, and I want you to be my giiiii-iiiirl” she laughed as she looked over at Carol, whose eyes were fixed on her, a mixture of annoyance and delight.  
  
“I love that song. I’m a much better driver if I love the song.” said Therese again, this time even more playfully, sensing Carol’s mounting annoyance.  
  
“If you don’t concentrate I’m going to make you sit in the back seat the rest of the day, that’s your warning.” she said and Therese couldn’t tell if she was being serious or playful, a question she often had when talking to Carol.  
  
A pause, and Therese finally said, “Why don’t you come closer then and really show me how to do it?” her voice soft and serious extending an invitation Carol sensed she wanted her to take. “Very well.” said Carol, sliding so close to Therese that her thighs were firmly pressed against each other and in one soft motion she reached over to hike up her skirt so it was now sitting high above her knees, giving her legs ample room to move. She slid her left leg in between Therese’s and quickly looked up at her face, gauging her reaction.  
  
Her eyes were wide and her lips hung open as Carol used her right hand to hold her chin and direct her vision downwards at their legs. “This is the break,” said Carol, moving her foot to touch the pedal “and this is the accelerator.” she finished, twisting her foot to the right to touch the smaller pedal. “Why don’t we start with that?” she said as she readjusted in her seat and pulled her skirt back down. “Try to keep the car steady” she continued, fighting the urge to place her hand over Therese’s to show her the best way to have control over the wheel.  
  
She was a little out of breath as she pulled herself away, trying to figure out what in the world she was doing, getting so close to this girl. If her feelings weren’t apparent before they certainly were now, and what would she think? That she had brought her all this way only to… corrupt her? She sat back in her seat and looked for her cigarette case in the glove compartment, putting one in the center of her mouth and lighting it without offering Therese any.  
  
Therese had been searching the radio the entire time, looking for something other than static, but it was hard to find anything that sounded clear. After a couple of drags from the cigarette Carol looked back at Therese, who seemed to be in full control of the car, even picking up the pace and sometimes reaching 30MPH. She was still staring at her when she felt Therese shuffle in her seat, take a quick look at her and reach out her hand to remove the cigarette from her lips and bring it into her own.  
  
Carol watched her, unsure of what had just happened, when she heard Therese say. “The radio doesn’t work, and I need music to drive.” She took another drag of the cigarette and exhaled quickly. “I’m a much better driver when there’s music. Sing me a song?”  
  
“I’m not much of a singer,” said Carol, still staring at Therese, “but I suppose I could give it a try. Any requests?” She heard herself say all this, surprised at her boldness after seeing her cigarette on Therese’s lips, moistened with her saliva, wondering if this was the closest they’d ever get to a real kiss.  
  
“All The Way” said Therese.  
  
“I’m afraid I don’t know that one,” lied Carol, remembering exactly what the song said but feeling unsure of speaking the words aloud without Frank Sinatra’s guidance and permission.  
  
“Then sing me what you know.”  
  
A pause, then Carol started, picking up from the very last verse “Who knows where the road will lead us, Only a fool would say,” another pause, this time to clear her throat, “But if you let me love you, It’s for sure I’m gonna love you, All the way…”  
  
“…all the way…” finished Therese.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This doesn't have a picture attached to it, I just wanted to write it.
> 
> Frankie Lymon & The Teenagers – I Want You To Be My Girl  
> Frank Sinatra - All The Way


	6. The Drake Hotel

* * *

The Drake Hotel

* * *

 

 

Their dinner had ended much later than they’d anticipated, and by the time they made it back to their room they noticed it was close to midnight. Neither wanting to be the first to call it a night Therese settled into the beautiful chair in their room and stared at herself in the mirror before slowly removing her shoes. Carol went straight for the bathroom, undressing and feeling herself breathe freely for the first time in hours, her garter now laying on the floor next to her taupe colored dress. She stood in front of the mirror, slowly admiring herself and running her hands over her chest and lingering on her neck, avoiding her lower half completely. _Not bad for a woman with a child_ , she thought to herself. But still her age was starting to show. Though her body was strong and resilient, years of paralyzing loneliness were still passing her by. It was during this unpleasant thought that she reached for her robe only to realize she had not brought it into the bathroom with her. “Therese!” She called from inside the bathroom. “Can you please hand me my robe? I left it on the bed, I think.”   
  
She had a small flashback to a few mornings ago, calling for Therese to fetch her a small blue sweater she very well knew she didn’t need. Hoping to somehow entice the young woman with a glimpse of her naked body. This time, however, she was completely nude, with nothing to hide the bits she didn’t want Therese to see. Hearing her footsteps approach she hid behind the door and opened it only slightly, covering her breasts with her arm as Therese approached her. “Here” said Therese opening the door further, revealing the length of Carol’s naked leg and torso, before looking away apologetically. Carol saw her quickly close the door and heard her foot steps get softer as she walked further away from the bathroom.   
  
She slipped her robe on, aware that there was nothing underneath, and stepped out of the bathroom, determined to hide her embarrassment from her young companion. “My turn.” said Therese softly as she picked up her polka dotted pajamas and navy blue robe and headed towards the bathroom. It wasn’t until the door was completely shut that Carol remembered she had left her clothes, all of her clothes, laying on the floor. After a few minutes Therese emerged from the bathroom holding two small piles of clothes, one firmly clenched in her hand and another tucked tenderly under her chest. She flung the pile of clothes from her hand into her own suitcase and laid out Carol’s neatly folded clothes on the corner of her bed.   
  
Carol sat on the floor, cigarette case in hand, looking at her while blindly searching her purse for a lighter. She motioned with her head for Therese to sit down next to her, and she did, bringing her large brown bag with her. She had spent enough time with Therese at this point to know exactly what that bag meant. “How do you want me?” Carol purred, her voice slightly altered by the cigarette between her lips.   
  
“Stay like that” said Therese as she once again pulled out her camera and adjusted the settings. Carol looked at her with purpose, trying to read any sign that the young woman would give her. _Did she like the way I looked? Was she mortified?_ Even if she had no experience Carol was sure Therese could find a better, younger, woman to help her discover herself, finally pushing away any doubt Therese wanted her in the same way. In all that, she kept her eyes firm on Therese, investigating her pursed lips, gentle breathing, and her methodical hands, finding their way on her camera dials. _Such small hands_ , thought Carol. _Like the rain_.   
  
When Therese finally looked up, she sucked in her breath as she caught Carol staring at her, robe partly opened, unlit cigarette still on her lips. “May I?” Said Therese as she leaned in closer, and taking a small beret from her own hair, pinned some of Carol’s blonde curls back to reveal her strong forehead. “There” she said softly, as if freshly satisfied by a gentle tongue.   
  
“Should I look at you?” asked Carol, removing the moistened cigarette from her lips?   
  
“No. Light up.”

  
Carol placed the cigarette back in her mouth and reached down to find her lighter, holding it in her hand, slowly bringing it up to meet the end of her cigarette as she heard Therese click away, adjusting her settings every few seconds.   
  
“Your hands.” said Therese.  
  
“Yes?”  
  
“They’re lovely. Regal, even.”  
  
“What could possible be regal about hands?” teased Carol, curious as to what Therese might say.   
  
“I can’t explain it,” admitted Therese, “it’s as if you could make someone worship you, just by using your hands.”  
  
Carol was surprised at this sudden expression of boldness on Therese’s part, feeling her strength increase as she hid her face behind her camera. She had a fleeting thought of this girl, laying naked on her bed, with Richard’s peasant hands all over her and it made her stomach turn. How she wanted to show Therese what life could really be like, what satisfaction was supposed to feel like. She took a long drag of her cigarette as she felt her face grow hotter, thinking of the bright coral of her nails getting lost inside Therese’s creamy folds, turning her insides every kind of shade found in a spring garden. _Click_.   
  
“Where do you go?” asked Therese, interrupting her thoughts yet again. “Where do you go when you go quiet?”   
  
“Never mind that,” answered Carol, reaching out her hand and motioning for Therese to hand her over the camera. “Teach me how to do this” Carol asked, intending to take some of the attention off of herself for a minute. Therese handed her the camera, and as if it was already the most familiar thing in in the world, reached further to take the cigarette from in between Carol’s fingers and bring it up to her own awaiting mouth.   
  
Therese got up and walked behind Carol, getting on her knees and reaching for her elbows to bring both of her hands up. Carol gently obliged, enjoy the sensation of the young woman’s hands on her. Therese brought Carol’s camera holding hand up to her face and leaned into her ear to whisper “You hold it there, find something you want to shoot, and press the button. It’s that simple.” Her soft words sent a chill through Carol’s body, ending at her toes and finger tips. She brought up her free hand to her mouth, forgetting her cigarette was no longer in her possession, when she felt Therese’s warm hand over her jaw, position their shared cigarette between her lips. Carol took in a soft, long drag, wanting to keep Therese’s perfect hand near her face for as long as she could. She said as she exhaled: “Well then how am I supposed to take a picture of you if you’re sitting behind me, Miss Belivet?”   
  
“It’s far too late for that now,” said Therese, leaning back and away from Carol. They sat in silence for a few seconds as Therese finished off the cigarette and then got up, leaving Carol on the floor.   
  
“Where you cold last night?” Asked Therese as Carol got back up and removed the clothes from her bed and untucked the sheets. “A little,” replied Carol, unsure of how they’d gotten into a conversation about the temperature. “I was cold last night”, said Therese, tucking herself into her own bed, laying down facing Carol.   
  
As Carol climbed into her bed she felt Therese’s frightening stare following her as she untied her robe beneath the covers.  For the first time in their trip she started thinking of the consequences of falling for this girl. She knew her life was an absolute wreck and there was no certainty in her future. She knew this trip had an expiration date and she would have to eventually go back to New York and face her reality. Harge, Rindy, and even Abby. How would they react if they knew she and Therese were waltzing around the country sharing apples and cigarettes. For the first time in a long time she grew scared. She knew she was falling, or had fallen, for this girl and her terrifying gaze, and while every cell in her brain told her to be smart and collected, she heard herself say: “If you get cold again, I think we’d both fit here.”   
  
She saw Therese smile and nod and as she closed her eyes she whispered, “Good night, Therese.”  
  
“Good night, Carol.” said Therese a few seconds later, tucking herself into the bed with her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The picture:
> 
> https://i.imgur.com/t4yroU2.png
> 
> Note: It wasn't until I was done writing it that I realized Carol is actually wearing her silk pajamas underneath her robe, but I just left it as is. I hope you all don't mind the inconsistency *shrugs*


	7. Letters from Richard

* * *

Seven

* * *

 

Therese shuffled through her pile of letters wondering which she should read first. “Pick one,” she said to Carol as she watched her polish her sunglasses with a small rag.   
  
“Blue.”   
  
“Okay, blue it is.” She set the rest of the letters on the dashboard and began to open the one in the blue envelope. Therese could tell Carol was somewhere far away as she sat in the back seat of the car, leaning against the driver side door, her legs stretched out towards the door opened opposite to her. She cleared her throat, but Carol didn’t lift her gaze.   
  
_Dear Terry_ ,   
  
“Terry?” Carol’s head shot up. Therese nodded, “Yes, that’s what he calls me.”  
  
“And you let him?”  
  
“I don’t mind.” she said sincerely and then continued reading.   
  
_I’m sorry that we fought. I hope the time away has helped you clear your head. Call me when you get this letter._  
  
 _Love, Richard._   
  
“Hmmm” sighed Therese, looking at the date on the envelope. It must have been sent that very day to have gotten to Chicago so quickly, along with a handful of others. “You two fought?” asked Carol, who until now had limited herself only to asking Therese if she was missing him.   
  
“Well, he broke up with me. I think he thinks it was a fight.”   
  
“I’m sorry” mumbled Carol.   
  
“Don’t be.” replied Therese, trying to sound as self assured as Carol had when she first told her she was divorcing her husband. She really had thought very little of Richard during their trip. Her days were spent more pleasantly engaged. She discovered a deep appreciation for the country, with its quiet beauty and peaceful landscaped, and a thrill in discovering a new city. She loved to watch couples walk hand in hand, eat lunch together, spend time. She’d even started wondering how her and Carol looked to others. Two friends just sharing a laugh, or an impossibly young mother and her awkward daughter. _She must take after her father, the poor thing_ , she imagined the strangers thought for sure, and the thought made her smile as she reached for another one of Richard’s letters.   
  
“What are you smiling at?” she heard Carol say and looked up to see her arms stretched out behind her, bringing to light her glorious chest. “You look awfully chipper for someone who was just broken up with.”  
  
“I wasn’t just broken up with” she replied, “I’ve had a few days to cope. I’m actually glad he did it and saved me the trouble of, well, never mind…” She opened up another one of the letters:  
  
 _Dear Terry,_  
  
 _I can’t tell if you’re ignoring me or if you just haven’t gotten to Chicago yet. How far is it from New York? Call me when you get this._  
  
 _Love, Richard._   
  
“Should we send him back a map?” asked Carol mockingly as she smiled and gave Therese a small wink.   
  
“He’s really not so bad,” said Therese, surprised at her sudden defense of him. _He really wasn’t though_ , she thought. They had met, he courted her, and she accepted him. He tried to make her happy in every way he could and it wasn’t until this moment, sitting close to Carol, that she realized how unfair she’d been to him. She thought back to last night, laying on a twin size bed with Carol, careful not to touch her, painfully aware of her nakedness under the covers. She had never felt this way with Richard. He had tried in every way to make her happy, to please her, and she always struggled to find new ways to push him aside. She tried to ease her awkwardness by claiming she had early nights planned so he wouldn’t insist on staying over, and when he did, she would nervously lend her hand to bring him whatever kind of pleasure he could get out of it. Her thoughts were distant as she held his letter in her hand and only snapped out of it when she heard a car loudly pass them by from where they were parked on the side of the road. She shuffled the letter and picked up the last one from him, realizing that the rest was all forwarded mail.   
  
_Dear Therese_ , she started aloud  
  
 _I met somebody…_  
  
Her voice grew quiet as she mumbled the rest of the letter to herself carefully, reading it over a second and third time to make sure she had it right.   
  
“He met someone?” asked Carol softly, a can of pop in her hand and a cigarette in the other.   
  
“Yeah,” said Therese. “He asked if I could give him some of the things he left in my apartment. I suppose I’ll do that when I get back.”   
  
“Are you okay?”  
  
“Yeah,” said Therese quietly, suddenly very aware of her presence in the tiny car. “I just need a little air” she said before slipping out of the car and running her hands through her hair. She knew this would happen, and although she wasn’t sad, she hated that she read that in front of Carol. She felt suddenly embarrassed at the thought of the only constant in her life for the past year suddenly rejecting her in front of the woman she…she was with. She barely noticed when Carol stepped out of the car and walked over to her to place her hand on her jacket. “You alright?” she asked.   
  
“Yes.” replied Therese sincerely. “I think it’s time to go.”   
  
“Come sit with me for a minute” Carol urged her as she once more slipped into the back seat of the car, Therese followed. She saw Carol lean sideways to rest her elbow on the front seat of the car and lifted her hand to cover her soft eyes from the sun. “I asked Harge for a divorce through our lawyers” she confessed, “I had the papers drawn up and sent to his office. No note, no explanation, just the papers.”  
  
Therese was surprised at this as Carol had never struck her as a cruel person.   
  
“Sometimes, “ she continued, breaking their eye contact, “the need to do something _now_ is stronger than the desire to do it properly.”

  
“I understand,” said Therese, nodding her head. “Stay like this for a minute, will ya?” she continued as she reached down to the bag on the floor containing her camera. She’d never seen Carol look this vulnerable before. All those other days there was a sense of mystery behind her eyes, a hypnotizing allure. Now, as the sun beamed down on her exposed hand, she could sense a hint of sadness she did not promptly recognize, but knew she wanted to capture. “Another picture?” she heard Carol ask as she adjusted the settings with her fingers.   
  
“This one is special,” said Therese, holding the camera up to her face and pressing the shutter button.   
  
“Oh?” breathed Carol.  
  
“You look…different. You look..” she brought the camera in a little closer, “bare.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The picture:
> 
> https://i.imgur.com/YlQIo1o.png
> 
> I know there is a better version of this picture somewhere, but I coulnd't find it!!!


	8. Waterloo

* * *

Eight

* * *

 

 

Therese kept her eyes closed as she felt the weight of Carol’s body on her. How different everything felt, loving someone with the lights on. Feeling a tender pair of breasts against her rib cage instead of a panting hairy chest. She could hardly catch her breath as she felt Carol explore her body, eager to love her but unsure of what to do. She felt Carol place soft wet kisses on her chest, tenderly suckle on her nipples and bring her arms around to caress the small of her back. The sensations were everywhere and she couldn’t help but pant and writhe from the delight. She felt Carol move further down her body until her nose was buried in her soft brown curls, unruly and wild and completely unprepared. She never imagined what loving a woman would be like, and so far it was more than she’d ever hoped for. She felt Carol place small kisses on her lips and became self conscious of how wet she had become.  
  
Before too long Carol had traced back up her body so that once again they were facing each other. Eyes closed, mouths hungry for one another. Therese, still with her eyes closed, felt her stop for a moment and opened her eyes to find Carol laying close to her, facing her. “My angel” she whispered, “flung out of space.”  
  
Within seconds Carol was devouring her again. Kissing along her jaw line and biting down on her neck, their breathing matched in perfect chaos. She worked her way back down Therese’s body leaving tender kisses along her path until finally she was resting between her legs.  
  
Therese watched her as she took in the sight of her and felt suddenly aware of the position she was in. “Wait…” she whispered, unsure of what to say next.  
  
Carol adjusted her position so that one arm was resting under Therese’s thigh and the other was on her opposite hip, caressing it lightly. Therese propped herself on her elbows and looked down at the blonde, tendrils of blonde curls were attempting to cover her eyes like a curtain, but she could still see the piercing blue eyes as they searched for hers. “Do you trust me?” whispered Carol, her tone soft and surprisingly calm.  
  
“Yes.”  
____________  
  
Carol moved her mouth down to Therese’s center and gently ran her tongue up and down her tender slit. She felt Therese writhe underneath her as she alternated between gentle strokes with her tongue and fingers, wanting to experience as much of her as possible, hungry for the tender moans escaping the young woman’s throat. She wondered if this had been her experience, making love quietly, pretending like it was enough, and she felt determined to make her voice her delight. Without removing her tongue she gently parted Therese’s lips with her fingers and slid one in, anxious to see the young woman’s reaction.  
  
“Oh, Carol…” she groaned, arching her back and burying her face in her hand, as if trying to conceal herself. Carol continued tending to her clit with her tongue in soft and lazy circles, sucking on it gently with her lips and rhythmically moving her fingers in and out of Therese. She felt the young woman’s pleasure mounting and added a second finger inside to finally bring her to orgasm. What a tender thing this was, she thought, to feel her lover writhe underneath her, contract around her fingers, and drip into her mouth like the most delicious of fruits. She kept her tongue on Therese, trying to pick up every bit of her that fell, as if consuming her completely would somehow make the union last forever.  
  
Once she felt her lover regain a bit of strength, she moved back up her body to lay down beside her and face her again. Therese hung on to Carol with force, burying her face in her neck and digging her nails into her back. Her breathing was jagged and loud and Carol thought she’d never heard a more beautiful sound. She softly ran her fingers over Therese’s arm, waiting for her to come down from her intoxicating high.  
  
_____________  
  
“Where did you learn how to do that?” said Therese, her breath sharp and intermittent as she tried to settle herself down. “…did Harge teach you?” she asked again, unsure of whether or not she even wanted the answer. The thought of that man’s callous hands all over Carol’s porcelain body was sickening to her.  
  
Carol let out a small chuckle as she placed soft kisses on her cheek and she answered Therese,  “What a thing to ask at a time like this.” Therese blushed and looked down, breaking away from their locked gaze, only to remember Carol was almost completely exposed beside her, sending another wave of heat through her body and coming all the way back up to her face.  
  
“No, Harge didn’t teach me that.”  
  
Therese was surprised Carol had continued and brought her eyes back up to meet hers. “That was something he very much enjoyed receiving, not giving anyway.” Therese was surprised at how easy it was for Carol to share such intimate parts of her life with her. “When we were first married I asked if he would, having read it in a magazine or something, but he said no, that it was a perversion. Then one night, maybe a few months in, I decided to try it out on him. I wasn’t sure what I was doing and was certain I would choke or gag,” she laughed,  “but seeing a man who had then been so kind to me rendered powerless in my mouth was somewhat appealing, I hate to admit.”  
  
Therese’s eyes were wide as she listened to Carol describe her intimacy with Harge, looking for any sign of affection still tied to the memory.  
  
“After that he tried to do it a few times, he did try, but I’m afraid my languid response was not enough to keep him interested. Then... when he found me and Abby... well, that was that.”  
  
“What about Abby?” Therese’s eyes filled with alarm, wondering what Carol meant but too afraid to hear her answer.    
  
“Nothing sweetheart,” Carol said, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear and kissing her softly, “I don’t mean a thing.”  
  
___________  
  
Carol dozed off while holding onto Therese, her tartan robe still covering part of her lower body, while Therese remained completely naked and draped over her. She opened her eyes when she felt Therese’s hands run along the side of her leg, slowly pushing her robe off of her hips with each gentle stroke. She didn’t move, and Therese didn’t notice her eyes were open as she continued with her sensitive mission.  
  
“What are you doing?” asked Carol, startling the girl.  
  
Therese looked as if there were a thousand things bubbling up inside her mouth, and Carol leaned in to kiss her softly so as to not make her decide which to say. It was past three in the morning and the girl must have been tired. _After the night she’d had anyone would be tired_ , she thought. She had spend the past few hours making love to Therese, seeing her go from a nervous young woman to an insatiable beast. She cherished the memory of having Therese in her mouth, feeling her contract around her fingers, and hearing her moaning increase as every once of inhibition left her body. _Yes_ , she thought, _she could make love to her forever_.  
  
“I’ve never done this before” Therese finally admitted as she held a fistful of Carol’s robe in her hands, snapping her out of her quiet haze.  
  
“You don’t have to do anything” said Carol, hoping her calm demeanor would reassure the girl, but fearing the gentle flame the tender confession had ignited in her stomach.  
  
“I want to” she whispered, pulling the robe further off of Carol, revealing her perfectly shaped hips and thigh.  
  
“Then do it” she whispered and then swallowed hard, running her hand gently over Therese’s lower back and buttocks. “You don’t need a rule book, Therese. Do what feels…”  
  
“Right?” Therese interrupted. Carol nodded, anticipation building in her eyes. “How will I know if it’s right?”  
  
“Trust me, my darling, you’ll know.”  
  
Therese leaned in to kiss her as if for the first time, gentle and slow, unsure of what to do with her tongue before Carol’s entered her mouth in search of it’s shy companion. They lingered in the kiss and Carol felt as the burning in her stomach turned to a gentle flutter, sure that this would be as far as the young woman would be willing to go. Surely her talk of Harge combined with her undoubted exhaustion would be enough to deter any further activity, regardless of how much she claimed to want it. Carol continued to kiss her slowly, moving her hand from her back to her breast and stroking it softly. She felt a sudden jolt of electricity when she felt Therese mimic her action. She gently broke away from the kiss and softly repositioned herself on the bed so that she was laying on her back, with her neck slightly elevated on the head board.  
  
Therese threw one of her legs over her, straddling her as she leaned in for another kiss. This time quicker, sloppy and used as a pit stop before getting to her jaw. Carol felt Therese place both hands on her breasts, massaging them, as she continued to kiss her jaw line, then her neck, her earlobe and even her temple. She felt Therese’s weight resting on her thighs and reached out to help her keep steady, trying not to lose herself in the feeling of Therese’s tongue on her skin and her hands on her breasts. A pause and she quickly opened her eyes to meet Therese’s as the brunette slowly slid her right hand away from her breast, down her abdomen and rested it calmly over the perfectly trimmed blonde curls.  
  
“May I?” she asked sheepishly, her voiced laced with both fear and desire.  
  
Carol placed one of her own hands over Therese’s and guided them down. “You may” she said, catching her breath as she felt Therese’s small fingers find the most vulnerable place on her body. Her eyes grew dark and she furrowed her brow as she felt Therese tenderly explore her lips. “Ah…” she breathed, feeling the gentle stimulation of Therese’s small hands as she watched the brunette carefully attending to her new chore. Without breaking contact she saw Therese lower herself onto her body and take one of her breast in her mouth, her rhythm steady with both her tongue and her fingers. “Yes…” whispered Carol at the realization, more than just simply the sensation, of this young woman loving her exactly as she wanted that first night in her home. “Yes…” she moaned again as she felt Therese’s confidence increase and her own resolve disappear.  She had told herself not to expect anything, that Therese would not be ready and focus on the pleasure her experience could bring to the girl. But she found herself losing control as she involuntarily rocked her hips against Therese’s gentle touch, wordlessly begging for more contact, trying not to startle the girl with her eagerness.  
  
Therese continued on her breast, this time biting down and sucking hard on her pebbly nipples, sending electric shocks through Carol. She slowly pulled her hand away and lowered herself on Carol’s body until her knees where tucked underneath her and she was positioned directly in front of Carol, her own knees nearly locked together and her thighs parted only slightly as to let Therese in. Carol’s breathing became frantic at the loss of contact, but almost immediately and confidently, as if she had done this a million times before, Carol watched Therese separate her thighs, a warm smile illuminating her face as she took in Carol’s moistened center, her lubrication covering her tiny curls from Therese’s gentle strokes.  
  
She lowered her face over Carol’s mound and whispered “You’re beautiful” with her lips pressed against it, sending chills through Carol’s body causing her to involuntarily tremble. Carol tried to keep steady as Therese gently took her in her mouth and circled her throbbing clit with her inexperienced yet obliging tongue. She tried to keep herself from shaking at the thought of being the first woman to ever experience this side of Therese. Oh, how lucky she felt, to be at the mercy of this delicate being, to be the subject of her tender adoration. She moaned at the thought of Therese discovering her own desires by means of her body and arched her back in disgusting pride as she felt Therese’s pressure change against her desperate and throbbing clit. She had flashes of her life before Therese as she gripped the sheets, afraid to hold the young woman’s head in fear of startling her with her desire. She saw herself with Harge, holding on the headboard as he grunted that he loved her before pushing her off of him when he came. He thought about Abby and how confidently she’d showed her her entire bag of tricks. Then she thought back to Therese, quiet and tender and driving her crazy with her natural perfections. Her jagged thoughts where interrupted as she felt Therese searching blindly for her hand, entwining their fingers together as she continued to thrust and swirl, thrust and swirl with her tongue. Nothing could be more perfect than being in this moment, feeling completely consumed by both love and desire.  
  
Her panting grew louder as she felt herself contract against Therese’s fingers, who sensing she was close, began to hum against Carol’s clit, never truly breaking contact with her tongue. Carol felt the pressure building fast inside of her and, with a loud groan, imploded sending shocks of pleasure to every inch of her body, like a devastating earth quake with one after shock and then another. Her previously self aware noises had disappeared and instead a crippling longing and loud moans replaced them. Carol brought her forearm over her face to bite down on as she felt Therese ease up with her tongue.  
  
“ _No, don’t, I want to see you._ ” she heard again, as if in a dream. She moved her arm from over her face and tried to gently stroke Therese’s head with her free hand, the other still locked in Therese’s grip, and she watched her place soft kisses on her inner thighs and swollen lips, while keeping her fingers inside, trying not to move them. She watched Therese linger there, unhurried and unafraid, and wondered how intuitively and expertly she performed.  
  
She watched Therese lay with her head on her abdomen for a while and wondered if she had fallen asleep when she heard her feet, which were hanging off the small twin bed, move around underneath the sheets. She watched Therese get up and pull the covers with her, leaving her completely exposed and a little embarrassed at the small drops still hanging on to her thighs. She leaned forward to wipe them with her thumb when she heard the familiar noise.  
  
Therese was walking towards her, camera in hand, the sheets abandoned by the side of the neighboring bed. “What are you doing?” cooed Carol, leaning back into the headboard, unapologetically exposed.  
  
“Will you lay down for me?” asked Therese, “I want to remember this moment forever.”  
  
Carol laid down on the bed and watched Therese climb on top of her one more time, this time stabilizing her legs by gently lowering herself onto Carol’s hips, her slightly wet center pressing softly against Carol’s moistened curls. Carol let out a small sigh at the sensation and then looked up at Therese. “Where do you want me?” she asked, unsure of what to do but relishing in the experience.  
  
“Just stay there.” _Click_.  
  
Carol let the feeling of Therese’s warm body consume her as she quietly let out a sigh before closing her eyes. Her arm was resting gently against her pillow and her hair was still messy from the lovemaking. She could feel Therese rocking gently against her, as if to lull her to sleep, and almost as though she was in a far away land, she heard a familiar _Click_. _The sweetest sound she’d ever heard_ , she thought. _The sound of her lover immortalizing her_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sigh, I love these two. 
> 
> The picture: 
> 
> https://i.imgur.com/EeDxeWn.jpg


	9. The Morning After

* * *

Nine

* * *

 

 

Therese woke up to see Carol’s naked torso sitting up on the bed. She was facing the closed window, sitting calmly and breathing deeply.  It couldn’t have been later than six and Therese briefly wondered why she was awake so soon after the night they had. She had barely gotten any sleep, her center still aching from the over stimulation of a night of passionate firsts. She felt Carol shuffle in her seat a little as she reached for the nightstand and picked up her silver cigarette case and lighter. Therese felt as if she could watch her all day and wondered if they even had to leave their room at all. Where would they go next? Did it even matter?  
  
“Good morning.” she said quietly, seeing Carol flinch at the surprise.  
  
“Go back to bed, darling, it’s early yet.”  
  
“I’m not sleepy anymore.” she lied, hoping Carol would not insist. “How did you sleep?” she continued, realizing how silly her question truly was.  
  
“When I slept,” started Carol, lit cigarette now in hand, “I slept very well. But I’m afraid I didn’t sleep much. How about you?”  
  
“Not much either,” confessed Therese. “I kept waking up to make sure I wasn’t dreaming.”  
  
“You were not dreaming.” answered Carol with a smile, offering her cigarette to Therese.  
  
Therese shook her head but reached out her arm to pull Carol in for a soft and smokey morning kiss. She felt Carol’s wet lips suckle gently on her lower lip before parting and taking another drag of her cigarette.  
  
“That night at your house...” started Therese, Carol now turned to face her, one leg folded in front of her and the other one still on the floor, exposing herself to Therese, “when you asked me to invite you to my house to see my pictures...”  
  
“Yes?”  
  
“I didn’t have any worth showing, but after this trip I think I will. I’m almost done with all the rolls of film you bought me.”  
  
Carol let out a soft laugh as she lowered herself back on to the bed, careful not to touch her lit cigarette to the sheets. She settled herself in front of Therese, facing away from the young woman. She rested her head on her free hand and pressed her behind against Therese’s sharp pelvic bones, making Therese catch her breath at the sensation. “It feels like all your pictures have been of me.” she said in an exhale.  
  
“Not all... of them” said Therese, reaching around her creamy soft skin so that her hand was laying on Carol’s soft belly. “You feel different then I do,” she confessed, making Carol instinctively suck in her stomach a little. “No, don’t” said Therese apologetically. “I just mean... I’ve never touched anyone like this before, except myself, and you just feel so different. Better.”  
  
“Better than Richard?” she heard Carol whisper, her cigarette close to her lips to muffle the question even more.  
  
“Richard and I never... I never let him... I didn’t like him touching me.”  
  
“Ever?” asked Carol, truly surprised. She started to turn to meet Therese’s gaze but Therese pressed her mouth against her shoulder to keep her at bay.  
  
“He did try... I mean, I did.. help him… I just, well..”  
  
“And the others before him?” asked Carol again.  
  
“There were no others” replied Therese, a hint of defensiveness in her voice.  
  
“Do you mean to tell me.... was this your first time making love, Therese?” she asked, her voice husky from the cigarette smoke. Therese nodded against her skin, a sudden self awareness at her utter lack of experience compared to this monster of a woman and felt compelled to hide her eyes from her. Carol put down her cigarette and forcefully turned to face her, leaving her body pressed against Therese’s and softly begged in a whisper “Will you kiss me, please?” Therese obliged and felt a kiss different than before, one full of passion and hunger and she felt Carol moan deep into her mouth as if she was shouting into a hollow cave. Carol reached around to touch Therese’s hair and gripped it lightly in her hand. Therese moved her hand further down Carol’s abdomen, bypassing her center and firmly placing one thigh above her own hips, leaving her lover exposed while they kissed. Therese felt Carol’s moans increase as she softly brushed her fingers against her opening,  pleased but not surprised at the small puddle of lubrication already waiting for her. She kept her rhythm steady and her kisses hungry as she felt Carol quickly climb to orgasm, wishing she could take her in her mouth but not wanting to break away from their desperate kiss. As she came, Carol moaned into Therese’s mouth, her body shaking as Therese’s delicate fingers massaged her entrance. Her eyes rolled to the back of her head as Therese continued to kiss her, to love her, to claim her as she had done every instant of their trip. First by taking her picture, then her cigarette, then her cautious reservation.  
  
Therese held on to Carol’s electric body as she settled, like dust on the pavement after a passing car. She watched her stretch across the length of her body and finally bring down her leg from Therese’s hip. They laid in silence for a little while when Therese heard Carol faintly ask:  
  
“Was I okay?”  
  
Therese was confused by her question and, could it be, insecurity? “I didn’t realize before...” she continued in the same tone of voice, “I didn’t realize that you’d never... I always imagined you and Richard...”  
  
“You imagined me and Richard?” Therese asked playfully, trying to break some of the tension.  
  
Carol chuckled lightly, appreciative of the relief, “I don’t mean like that... I just figured, well I mean, look at you” she continued, not looking at Therese.  
  
“Well, look at me.” Therese commanded softly, pushing Carol’s shoulder back so her head would turn and face Therese. Carol turned her entire body and softly wedged her knee in between Therese’s legs and draped her arm around her.  
  
“I didn’t know I was your first, Therese…” she started, seemingly stopping herself in the middle of her sentence.  
  
“And hopefully my only one.” finished Therese out loud, closing her eyes and going in for another soft kiss.  
  
———-  
  
It was half past eight when Carol slipped out of the small twin bed, searched for her silk pajamas and her tartan robe and slippers and walked quickly to the motel lobby to pick up a cup of their freshly brewed coffee.  
  
She saw Therese laying there, her chest uncovered and her legs tangled up in the messy sheets. Her hair was matted and unruly, a perfect representation of the first night they shared. She was careful not to make noise, trying to preserve the young woman’s peaceful sleep, and settled on a spot near the window. Not much of a view, she thought, though she wasn’t particularly interested in looking at anything.  
  
She could see the pavement and the cars parked outside, people coming and going from  the lobby and in and out of their cars. She smiled to herself as she thought of the previous morning, how unaware she was that the events in this little town, this dingy motel, would transform her life so unexpectedly. She had previously fantasized about making love to Therese. She’d imagined herself teaching the young woman how to make love to another woman, to herself, and sending her off into the world ready to devour it whole. She’d imagined her tiny and pristine body writhing underneath her, digging her nails into her skin and screaming her name as she came. She had thought of what she’d taste like, maybe peaches or some other type of fruit, but she never would have imagined what they actually shared.  
  
She’d had affairs before, after Abby, but they where a quick and dirty business. They were an escape from Harge and his repression, his reproaches, and his selfishness. Every time she came to another woman’s touch she felt her resentment towards Harge grow. He who knew what she needed and so unapologetically denied it. She thought back to all the nights they spent together, where knowing he was still awake, she would touch herself in the bed next to him, moaning and whispering obscenities so that he knew she didn’t need him. Then, when Rindy came along, how she brought her to their bed with them so that Harge wouldn’t be able to touch her again. They had spent years like this, slowly gnawing at each other’s souls, creating callouses along the way.  
  
She knew her attraction to Therese was instantaneous, but she never imagined it would grow into something more, not so quickly... not ever. She remembered having the young woman in her mouth, her soft whimpering almost heartbreaking in its sincerity. She thought about her smile in the car and her eager questions, wanting to know as much about her as possible, not minding the walls she had so meticulously built around herself. Therese tore through them like a jackhammer, she thought, unapologetic in her quest to know her, to really know her. And last night, devouring the sensuous fruit between her legs, Carol thought Therese had accomplished exactly that: to really know her. She saw her appetite and experienced her desire as very few people had in the past. In the past, she had let women make love to her, selfishly, as if to prove to herself that she could, if she wanted, live her life freely. She knew she was admired and never shied away from it, her façade an additional and nearly impenetrable wall.  
  
Last night, however, she had let all of that fall to pieces. Making Therese happy was her only source of joy, her only mission now, and maybe for the rest of her life. She wanted to give and give and give until Therese was so swollen and so spent she simply couldn’t receive anymore. She’d never felt this way before, excited for someone to see the eagerness of her desires, excited for someone to watch her lick her fingers clean and excited to brand another body with soft kisses and small bites. She felt herself truly exposed to Therese when making love to her and she thought that no matter what happened the rest of the trip, she would not waste a single opportunity to show Therese how much she really wanted her, cared for her... loved her.  
  
“What town is this again?” she heard a soft voice ask from afar.  
  
Carol turned to Therese, a vision in her eyes, and answered dryly: “Waterloo. Isn’t that awful?” a small chuckle escaped her lips as she watched the brunette fall back down into the bed, a look of sweet satisfaction in her eyes.  
  
“Where are we going today?” she asked Carol who was still looking out the window.  
  
“Wherever you want” Carol said.  
  
“Can I drive?” asked Therese playfully. “I’m good at it now, remember?”  
  
“Oh, I remember.” answered Carol, her voice sweet and suggestive as she took a step towards the bed. As she got to the edge of the bed she stood there for a moment and watched Therese look up at her. The brunette’s hair was messy and all over her face and with every attempt to sweep it aside she saw Therese tangle it further. She thought about sitting on the edge of the bed with her, but decided to softly squat down beside her and help her with her tiny mission. She leaned over to get the hair out of the young woman’s face and felt Therese press a soft wet kiss on the inside of her palm.  
  
“You know,” started Therese as she looked up at the ceiling, Carol’s palm still covering half her mouth, “I always liked to watch Richard eat ice cream cones...” she was confused by the sudden mention of Richard, “I never really understood why... but now I guess it makes sense.” Carol couldn’t help but laugh at her odd little confession and pulled her hand away from Therese’s face and used it to cover her own. The thought had amused her so she let out a soft snort as she continued laughing.  
  
“What?” asked Therese, “What...? Whaaaaat!” she urged on.  
  
“Oh, nothing dear” said Carol in between chuckles, “It’s just the thought of you subconsciously watching someone eat ice cream it’s... well... it’s adorable.”  
  
“It is not” Therese said with a pout.  
  
“It is so” stated Carol.  
  
“He must have been very good with his tongue” Therese said playfully, as if her intention was to taunt Carol with her statements. “Too bad I never let myself find out.”  
  
Carol felt a sudden pain in her chest and nausea in her stomach at the thought of Richard or anyone else having Therese the way she had. She knew the thought was moronic as Therese had confessed to her there had been no others, but letting her feeling take over her she started to tug at the sheets that were covering Therese.  
  
“What are you doing? I’m cold.” said Therese as if she really didn’t know what Carol’s intentions where. She continued tugging at the sheets until she had uncovered Therese’s tangled limbs. She changed positions so that she was now on her knees and with her strong hands began stroking Therese’s lean legs. Her hunger for this woman seemed insatiable and even touching her like this didn’t seem like enough. She ran her fingers over her calves and gently through the inside of her thighs as she felt Therese relax to her touch and open up. Her passion and jealousy had now combined into a frightening haze and she was sure that she could skin this woman in this very moment and wear her flesh around her body like her lustrous mink coat. It was the only way to feel her truly close as the confines of their flesh limited them. She slowly came back to reality as she heard Therese pant softly at the sensation of her hands on her legs. She couldn’t see her face as the brunette had laid down completely and hung her legs wide open on the side of the bed exposing herself to Carol.  
  
Carol formed her index finger and middle finger into a V and pressed them down on either side of Therese’s sensuous mound, already dripping with anticipation. “Miss,” she breathed softly into Therese’s clit, “I think I’ll take the flavor of the day.” She heard Therese release a small chuckle in between her heavy breathing and let out a soft “Yes.” Carol lowered her mouth onto Therese’s creamy center and slowly ran her tongue over her folds making lazy circles around her lips and clit. “Mmmmmm,” she moaned into Therese as she did this, “Delicious.” She continued her mission, slow and methodical, trying to bring the girl to an point of agony where they only thought in her head was the feeling of Carol’s tongue on her, she wanted to wipe away any memory of Richard, any thought of some ideal imaginary lover, she wanted to devour her whole and the lazy sucking and licking and moaning was producing in Therese a mounting desperation that she relished in. She felt cruel for taking so much pleasure in torturing the girl, but feeling this was the only way of permanently searing herself into Therese’s mind she pressed on until she heard a soft and desperate “please...” coming from the angel laying in front of her. “Please.....” she continued “fuckkkk...” Carol’s eyes grew wide at the new words she had coaxed out of Therese “....me” she heard the girl finish,  then again “please.... fuck....me, please... please...”  
  
The night before had been so new and exciting the only things Therese could really do was moan in her delight. She went from a quiet and shy lover to one whose only word was Carol’s name repeated over and over again like an anxious prayer offered to a sympathetic God. Carol felt her own desire growing as she relished in her lover’s emboldened state, asking her for what she wanted, but staying true to herself and not demanding, but pleading softly, gently. Carol felt her hunger grow and take over her as she took Therese’s legs and hung them over her shoulders and then searched for the girls hands to bring them up to her head. She wanted, no needed, to feel Therese’s hands in her hair as she devoured her, to feel her desperation grow further until she pushed Carol’s face against her, desperate to have her inside somehow.  
  
She moved her tongue quicker, almost desperately, as she plunged her curled fingers into Therese making her hips buck and her grip tighten on her hair from the sensation. “Yes,” whimpered Therese, “yes, fuck, yes,” The words were a libation to Carol’s ears, making her feel drunk and hungry. When the pressure was simply too much, she saw Therese climax in the bed and felt her feet beat into her back as Therese shook in ecstasy. Carol continued to run her fingers along the inside of Therese’s thigh and slowly lick around her center as if to leave her clean. She removed Therese’s legs from her shoulders and slightly hunched down at the floor, still attentive to the brunette’s movements on the bed, enjoying her private show.  
  
After a little while she saw Therese prop herself up on her elbows and find Carol’s gaze, who was still sitting on the floor finishing her cup of coffee. “You know” said Carol, “usually I take my coffee black, but with a little cream it’s even better.” Therese fell back on the bed and giggled, bringing her knees together to touch her chest and then rested curled up like that on her side. “Well, now my legs don’t work anymore so I guess you’ll have to drive.”  
  
“Aha... my plan to keep us alive has worked.” joked Carol, taking another sip of her coffee and admiring the perfection on the bed in front of her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter and the next don't have a picture attached to them. I know I should have left it at the happy ending, but the road-trip wasn't really complete until the last night in Chicago, so...
> 
> I hope you all like the smutty fluff!


	10. Chicago, Again

* * *

Ten

* * *

 

 

“You need to eat something” said Carol as she kept her eyes firmly at the road. “You didn’t have any breakfast.”   
  
“I’m not hungry” replied Therese, her tone low and somber.   
  
“I didn’t ask you if you were hungry, Therese” Carol shot back, in a tone that Therese could only interpret as anger.   
  
They had spent the last hour sitting in silence, smoking cigarettes, feeling the day pass them by at glacial speed. The car didn’t seem to be advancing to Therese, who didn’t know where they were going and was too afraid to ask. Carol had reassured her that this was not her fault, but how could she believe her? How could she feel otherwise? She didn’t know exactly what the tapes meant, but she thought of this woman’s unwavering pride and sense of privacy being ripped from her and it made her angry. Angry at the detective, angry at Harge, even angry at Abby for not warning them sooner. She wondered if, had she known, if she would have acted differently. If she would have reached for Carol’s hand the night before, igniting their passionate love making. She wondered if she indeed had, if she would have been as loud, as hungry. She knew in her heart there was nothing she could have done differently, and not ready to feel the shame in their discovery, she redirected her thoughts back towards everyone she was angry at.   
  
She noticed the scenery change from empty fields to small country homes as they got closer to a town she didn’t recognize. They’d never been there before, but somehow it felt strangely familiar, as if they were moving backwards. Carol pulled up to a small diner and got out of the car, looking back at Therese through the windshield, motioning for her to get out. Therese followed closely behind as they entered the nearly empty diner. She watched Carol as they sat down and she picked up the menu already on the table. They barely looked at each other as Carol ordered coffee and an egg breakfast for both of them. It was half past noon and neither had eaten since the night before. Therese felt an emptiness in her stomach she knew was more than hunger and insisted she didn’t feel like eating.   
  
Finally, after what felt like days, she heard Carol plead: “Darling… won’t you please eat something. For me?”   
  
Therese looked up and saw Carol’s piercing eyes on her, a strange defeat washing over them. All this time she had thought about how angry she was at everyone, including herself, and she had not stopped to think about how Carol must be feeling.   
  
“You haven’t slept” said Therese, finally, “and you haven’t eaten, and you’ve been driving for a long time.”  
  
“It’s only been about an hour, I’m fine.”   
  
“Let me drive, just tell me where we’re going.”  
  
“We’re going back to Chicago.”   
  
“Are we…. are we going back home?”  
  
“Yes.”  
  
Therese heard the sadness in her lush voice and picked up her fork to take a bite of her food. It was only then that she realized how hungry she truly was, how her head had been pounding from the lack of sleep, caffeine, and sustenance. The entire morning they had been tangled up in each other, pushing back their checkout time ten minutes, then twenty, than an hour. She had completely forgotten that, contrary to what some poets might say, the body cannot survive on lovemaking alone. She ate her breakfast quickly, looking up at Carol’s pleased expression as she did.   
  
“Ladies!” she heard an oddly high pitched voice say, “Mind if I join you for a cup of coffee?”  
  
It was a man, very tall and slender, holding a cup of coffee in one hand and pulling up a chair next to their table with the other. Therese watched Carol as she shot her a look of confusion, perhaps wondering if Therese somehow knew this stranger who had approached them.   
  
“I saw you two walk in,” he continued, “and I says to myself, _‘John, you need to get on up there and get better acquainted with those two’_ , and so here I am, doing just that. John Ledger, nice to meet you.” He stretched out his hand and picked up Carol’s from the table, shaking it gently and bringing it up to his mouth to kiss the top of it. Therese felt as if her stomach would fall out of her mouth as she watched this happening.   
  
“Now, I gotta admit to you two, I don’t think I’ve ever seen a more handsome duo than the two of you. I says to myself _‘John, maybe they’re movie stars!’_ Are you movie stars, my dears?” He spoke in plurals, but he was still looking only at Carol, who was either too polite to look away or too embarrassed to look at Therese.   
  
“Sir…” began Carol, softly shaking her head and pulling her hand away further and wrapping it around her coffee cup.   
  
“Yup! You certainly do look like movie stars. Say, what brings you to our little town? Are you filming a big picture here?”  
  
“Yes!” interrupted Therese, finally getting the man to take his eyes off Carol and look at her. “I’m her agent, you see, and I can’t have her telling you anything about it.”   
  
“Now, little lady, you’re too young to be anybody’s anything…”  
  
“I’m older than I look,” she interrupted again. “I’m old enough to be a lot of things” she said, standing up. “Now if you’ll excuse us, I can’t have her sitting here now that you’ve so indiscreetly blown her cover, she’ll never get a moments rest.” She quickly moved to the other side of the table and took Carol’s hand, lifting her up and brought her arm around her waist, as if to help her walk. How they must look she thought, a tiny brunette in flat slippers helping this monumental newly-discovered movie star walk out of a dingy diner. “We best get going,” said Therese looking back at the man with a chastising look, “I swear, no matter how much money you save, it’s never worth it to film in these tiny little towns…” her voice grew quite as she walked away and out of the diner, she looked up at Carol and noticed she was biting on her upper lip to keep from laughing.   
  
“Now,” she instructed Carol in her newly stern persona, “you get in the passenger seat and tell me which way is Chicago.”  
  
Carol let out a hearty laugh and it felt to Therese as if it had been years since she’d heard it. She watched Carol settle into the passenger seat and pull out her map, then lean in and show Therese the direction they were driving in. Therese took the wheel and with a newfound sense of confidence pulled out of the small parking lot and onto the highway.   
  
“Therese” she heard Carol say, her voice soft and relaxed once again.  
  
“Yes?” answered Therese, happy to welcome the lush tone she had fallen so in love with.  
  
“We didn’t pay our bill.”   
  
Therese let out a sudden laugh, completely taken aback by the realization they had just committed theft. It was the funniest thing she’d ever heard, she thought, as the laughter made tears swell up in her eyes and fall down her cheeks like a slow and steady fountain. She laughed until she was out of breath and didn’t even noticed when Carol closed her eyes beside her and fallen asleep.  
  
_____________  
  
The noise of the passing cars indicated that they were nearing Chicago and Carol woke up with alarm at the thought of Therese behind the wheel in a busy city. “Pull over” said Carol in a husky newly awake kind of tone.   
  
“I’m fine, go back to sleep.”  
  
“Pull over Therese, I don’t want you driving in the city.”  
  
“Don’t worry, I’m fi..”  
  
“Pull over, goddamnit.” barked Carol, knowing she had startled the girl with her command. She hadn’t anticipated sounding so harsh, but having just woken up from a much needed nap she couldn’t quite gauge the tone of her voice. She watched Therese signal and pull over on the side of the road. “I can drive us from here, switch me seats.”   
  
Therese got out of the car, but instead of moving to the passenger side she opened the door behind Carol and settled into the back seat. Carol watched her as she made her way around the car and slid into the drivers seat which was still warm from Therese’s heat. She turned on the ignition and pulled into the road, readjusting her rear view mirror so that she had Therese in view.   
  
“I’m sorry, darling” she started “I didn’t mean to upset you.”  
  
“I’m not upset” said Therese, though her tone did not match her words.  
  
“We’ll be staying at The Drake again tonight, I remember how you liked it.”  
  
“Umhm” nodded Therese, avoiding eye contact through the mirror.   
  
Carol thought about readjusting it so as to leave the girl alone, but she so desperately wanted to hear what the girl was thinking, what she was feeling, but didn’t have the words or the heart to ask. Instead she said “How long was I asleep for?”  
  
“I don’t know,” said Therese, “a couple of hours, maybe.”  
  
“Thank you for that” said Carol sincerely, “I didn’t realize how tired I was until I had a minute to rest.” Noticing that Therese was still looking out the window and not at her she decided to add “You kept me up last night, and then again this morning” a tired smile curling in her lips.   
  
No response. After a minute or two Therese finally looked up, not at the mirror, but directly at the back of Carol’s head. “What did you and Abby talk about earlier?” she finally asked.   
  
“Oh, nothing darling…”

  
“It’s not nothing, I heard you talking about flights to La Guardia.”  
  
Carol’s eyes darted on the road in alarm as she heard Therese press on.   
  
“Are we flying back home? What about the car?”   
  
“Please don’t worry about that dear” she said, trying to reassure Therese. “Everything had just happened and I was frantically trying to think of a solution for it all. Please… please don’t worry about a thing.”   
  
Their drive back to the hotel was a quiet one, with Therese sunken deep into the back seat, covered by a blanket, while Carol shielded herself in her full mink coat. The bellboy helped Carol with her bags once again and led them to their room. This hotel had seemed so magnificent just a few days ago, and now…now it was so full of memories, pleasant ones, and she let out a small sigh knowing that this would not always be the case.  
  
Once in their room Therese quickly moved to the bathroom, pajamas in hand, while Carol picked up the phone to ring Abby and let her know they had gotten to Chicago safely. As she hung up the phone she saw Therese move towards the far side of the room and begin to untuck one of the beds as Carol laid tired on the other one. “You don’t have to sleep over there” she said to Therese, hoping that whatever anger she felt towards her in the car had somehow dissolved. She watched Therese walk slowly over to where she was laying and softly took her in her arms.  
  
 _My poor gir_ l, she thought, you don’t deserve this. _You don’t deserve any of this._ Carol felt Therese press a soft kiss against her neck as they embraced and moved her face to meet the girl’s. She gave her a soft kiss on the lips and felt the saltiness of what she could only imagine was a tear before pulling back and placing another tender kiss on her cheek. She wanted to stay in that moment forever, holding Therese, hidden from the rest of the world. She felt Therese’s kisses grow deeper and lightly scratched her head as their tongues found each other in their familiar and melancholy dance.   
  
Carol felt Therese start to unbutton her sweater while continuing the shower of soft kisses on her face. She reached down and tried to help when she heard the girl whisper, “no, let me.” She laid back on the bed as Therese peeled off every piece of clothing from her body, admiring her like she had admired Therese just the night before. It felt as if Therese was discovering her body for the first time, and she felt no inhibition letting the girl explore her imperfections in the light of the early afternoon. As she was being undressed she felt Therese linger on the marks in her body that had not been there the day before. The lines her brassiere had created under her breasts and around her back and the dents her garter belt and panty hoes left on her hips and thighs. She watched Therese study her, as if she was trying to memorize her, and any negativity about her aging body was dissolved by Therese’s warm stare, taking her in, worshiping her. She thought of how she’d never been looked at this way, not by Harge, not by Abby, not by any of the other women she’d encountered in her life. She felt soft and wanted for the first time in a life time and her eyes began to fill with tears as she let the strength of Therese’s feelings for her consume her.   
  
She let Therese make love to her like that, still fully clothed in her polka dotted pajamas, with both hands intertwined with hers. She moaned her name over and over, forcing herself to speak it even when the sensations in her body felt like they would tear her apart. She wanted to memorize Therese’s touch and leave her taste and aroma somehow on her forever. She felt Therese continue to love her as she climaxed, clawing into her hands as she arched her back in devastating pleasure. She knew she would break her heart, she knew maybe someday Therese would hate her, and she wept at the thought of such a delicate creature feeling anything but happiness.   
  
She felt Therese let go of her hands and work her way up her body so that once again they were facing each other, and what had started out as gentle whimpers had turned into heartbreaking sobs. Carol felt Therese bring her in and press her against the wrinkled fabric of her pajamas. Still shaken from her orgasm and short of breath, she frantically tried to undo the buttons of Therese’s top needing to feel her body against her. She tried to catch her breathe as Therese slid her pants and underwear off and wrapped her leg around her, her thigh draped over the small of Carol’s waist and her foot resting softly beneath her porcelain buttocks.   
  
“Don’t cry” said Therese as she wiped a tear away with her thumb.”Please don’t cry, everything will be alright, you’ll see.” Her optimist brought a tired smile to Carol’s face. To be this optimistic, she thought, what a rare attribute. There was so much about this girl that she didn’t yet know and while she wanted to spend the rest of her days finding it all out she knew their time together was coming to an end. Carol leaned in for another warm kiss and whispered into Therese’s mouth “What would you like to do when we get back home?” _Home_ , what a notion.   
  
“Maybe we could stay at your house while everything gets settled” suggested Therese. Carol closed her eyes and imagined Therese in her house, waking up in her bed and meeting her at the front door when she got home. She nodded and smiled at the thought of Therese’s innocent plan. “And then?” she urged on. “Well, then...” continued Therese, “maybe we could sit in the garden and... and go for walks in the afternoon. Maybe we could get a puppy for Rindy to play with... and maybe we could name him John Ledger” Carol was surprised by her silly reference and chuckled as a few more tears dropped from her closed eyes.   
  
“Carol... please don’t cry...” Therese pleaded.   
  
“I’m not crying,” said Carol, her hand breaking away from Therese’s to wipe away the tears from her face, smudging her makeup. Carol felt her breathing starting to steady and she moved her hand to cup Therese’s tender breast. She held her hand there, massaging it gently, before letting it get lost under the covers in search of Therese’s perfect mound. “Don’t...” said Therese, stopping her in her tracks. “Will you just hold me, please?” she begged.   
  
Carol brought her arm back up to rest against the small of Therese’s back. She held it there for a while, exploring the base of the girls spine with her fingers. She was distracted when she felt Therese lean in and kiss the tip of her nose. “I like your nose” she whispered and moved on to plant another soft kiss on Carol’s cheek. “Sweet girl...” breathed Carol, shaking her head slightly at the notion. “I like your eyes, too...” Therese continued, “I’ve never seen eyes like yours. They remind me of...”   
  
“Yes?”   
  
“Well they remind me of that feeling I got the first time I saw the ocean. I think I was ten years old.”  
  
“But aren’t you from New York?” Carol asked softly, but unable to mask her confusion,   
  
Therese nodded and placed another soft kiss on the tip of Carol’s nose. “Yes, but I didn’t see the ocean, the real, vast ocean until I was around ten. I remember that it was massive and inviting and.. and terrifying all at the same time. I felt as if I has somehow been separated from it at birth. I thought maybe the salty waves somehow shaped and smoothed my limbs, like those tiny pebbles that are scattered all over the beach, and that it made my own tears salty, so that every time I cried I would remember where I came from and feel happy again.”   
  
Carol felt her hot tears well up again as she heard Therese’s tender confession, but resolved it in her heart not to cry anymore, and instead pressed her aching body closer to Therese’s. She hated herself for making Therese feel this way, loved and secure, knowing what she had to do in a few hours.   
  
“I want you to know,” said Carol softly, “that no matter what happens...” Therese pressed her lips softly against Carol’s and slowly made love to her tongue. “I know,” said Therese after a while, “I know.”   
  
———————-   
  
Carol woke up intermittently through the night to find Therese holding on to her tightly each time. Her breathing was soft and Carol watched her chest rise and fall for a while before slowly loosening Therese’s grip on her and making her way softly towards the edge of the bed. She sat there at the edge of the bed for a few minutes, her body heavy from the lack of sleep, the sweet exhaustion, and the weight of her problems. She didn’t bother with her robe as she tip toed around the room collecting her things from various places and packing them into her suitcase, careful not to make any noise. She stepped into the bathroom to change without turning on the lights, afraid of waking Therese. She wasn’t surprised the young woman was still sound asleep, though. It wasn’t yet four in the morning but already all her things were packed and ready to go. She softly opened the door and set her three suitcases in the hallway, one by one. She was still standing by the door when she wondered if she would be able to kiss Therese goodbye, but fearing this might wake her, she opened the door a little further and stepped outside.   
  
She walked down towards the lobby leaving her suitcases behind and made a mental note to ask the bellboy to bring them down for her in a minute. When she reached the lobby of the hotel she was surprised by how busy it was considering how early in the day it was. She found a comfortable chair and adjusted the scarf around her head before motioning for the bellboy to fetch her bags and give her a page from the hotel stationary set.   
  
She sat there for a moment thinking about what she should write. Nothing she thought of seemed like enough and for a moment she wondered if maybe it would be better for her not to say anything at all. She imagined how she’d feel if she suddenly woke up to find Therese missing and made an effort to write out her feelings as best she could.  
  
Dearest…  
  
It wasn’t long before Abby walked in through the revolving doors and into the lobby. She was looking perfect, completely unaffected by the late night flight. Carol rose to her feet and fell into her in a deep embrace, her eyes heavy from the lack of sleep and swollen from her tears. “Oh Abby…” sighed Carol as she held her tight. “I don’t know what I’m going to do.”  
  
“I’ll take care of her. Try not to worry so much. I have your ticket and the taxi is already waiting for your outside.”  
  
Carol pulled back from their hug and nodded at Abby, then reached over to the small table next to her and picked up an envelope. “Will you give this to her for me?”  
  
“Of course. Now go.” she said as she motioned towards the door. “We’ll talk when we get home.”  
  
“Thank you Abby… I don’t know what I’d do without you.”  
  
Completely free of inhibitions Abby leaned in and planted a soft kiss on Carol’s forehead.   
  
“Don’t worry, love, you won’t ever have to find out. Now go, I’ll see you soon.”  
  
Carol walked out of the hotel feeling like a completely different person than when she had first entered it. Instead of hope, she felt defeat, instead of excitement, exhaustion. She settled into the back of the taxi and as she felt it pull away she placed her head in her hand quietly whispered “I’m sorry, my love.” hoping that if she wished it hard enough Therese would somehow hear it and believe that she meant it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you, my loves, for sticking with this little story. This is the last chapter in this series since we all know what happens next. Comments are always appreciated it. You have made posting this sooooo enjoyable for me and for that I am truly grateful!


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